Sunday, 30 May 2010

Something that wont be

I awoke to a sun half covered by a white blanket, its light sept through, and the blue that broke through, it made peace with every callous sight that witnessed its wonder. I store on out from my warm home, through a window pane split to four by pure white plastic, the look was deemed fashionable.

I looked and wondered about you and thought, is she at work at the moment or Is she at home? Should I call around tonight or should I leave my thoughts to an assuming mind? I look and think too often, I never act on impulse. So an eve passes and I'm back home, looking out from my window.

I looked on out down, towards your house, past the green fence and towards the conservatory windows. They were lit bold by cream covered blinds, French by design. I store right on through and wondered, thought about who lay behind them. Your mother and father watching something on TV, you sat faraway, cast in the dim blue of your computer screen, playing some game, just doing anything to take your mind away from the trivialities of the real world. Wondering about him, perhaps stealing an odd thought about me? Maybe I'm not in your mind at all, maybe it's just you escaping from everything through a false reality.

But how I do remember how you were.I heard your dry wit and strength, how you hid behind it. Your mind opened and I caught a glimpse; underneath you are as fragile as every girl that I've met. Beneath all of that intelligence and layers of obvious individuality, you were just a girl lost by life. so I wonder almost every day about you. But I walk by and keep on walking, wondering about you.


Friday, 28 May 2010

The big comedown

It was strange to note how everything change.
One phrase from you lips was all it took.
Such words torn jagged through,
Such guilt and foolishness filled me.

deafening silence,
a muddle of logical mess,
my saddest happiness I hid behind.
Just to be kind.

Lowly sighs,
music, alcohol
and the words that were said
spinning around me,
taunting my head,
stealing all the happiness I held.

Desperately drowning in the sound,
horrible alcohol,
a bottle of cheap spirits.
I took the bottle
and drunk from its neck.
It's poison was met smiling
by a welcoming cringe.

Words replaced by a World spinning,
thoughts weren't certain.
Flat on my back,
fingers felt nothing,
my legs felt nothing,
I was only in my mind.

The bottle rolled across bare grounds,
A stray welling lingers by my eye,
those words weren't quenched by my intoxication.
They stained every thought in surreal insanity instead.

Howling silently, ringing violently
pain slicing and twisting through me.
The torn crimson and pitched black were all I could see.


Thursday, 27 May 2010

Such a day

How surreal it seemed to hear such a laugh passing from her lips, amazing was such a day. I Never knew someone could be so funny, no girl has ever made me laugh like that; I didn't think it was possible. But our laughs kept on coming boldly and then quietly as I remembered the hour was late (my folks were sleeping in the next room).

I begun to wish that I was right there with her. How much funnier would it have been to see her crumble to the ground in hysterics? And to watch me trip as I try to pick her up? What a sight it would have been to see two laughing fools rolling about the floor. Such a day will come I'm sure.

I wouldn't of traded this night for another, to me it was one of those nights that I'll never forget. For a day that started off so poorly I couldn't have expected it to have shone so brightly by the end. It was her birthday.

We talked for hours, it seemed little more than minutes to me, I wish I had the day. I don't think that I could run out of things to say and laugh about with her, I'm not sure I can, ever. So bring on the evening and night so I can spend it right, bring it on so I can talk with her tonight.


Monday, 24 May 2010

Happy, nostaglic.

So I rolled out of bed quite late, the sun was shining, the chirps and whistles of songbirds filled the air. I was a day off. I got me some lunch and started my day of lounging and chilling. Albeit I say that then I went into the garage to make some noise on my drumkit, the weather warranted it I think.

I hadn't played in a week so to be fair I started of rather numb, playing like I was drunk; I lacked certainty and precision. A couple songs in and I was soon on form again. I begun to play some old songs I remembered from my youth.

I started to play some Van Halen.

It took me right back to a particular summer, I think it was my happiest childhood summer. The warmth of the air, those smiling friends I used to see everyday. Walking about the town, playing football on the green, staying out all day and returning in a clear, twilit sky. Those were the days I didn't have any cares; I was happy personified. I was thinking about those times, it's amazing how one song can bring back so much.

I was hardly paying any attention to my drumming as my mind escaped. My hits were getting harder, the kicker was being kicked to oblivion, my cymbals were all spinning about their axis erratically, my snare drum was getting the beating of its life. With every hit, every smash I found myself deeper in this dream.

My mum came into the garage, she'd had enough (she hates my drumming anyway). I was told to stop my racket. Mum had woken me from my past, brought me back into reality. I only wish that I could of had one more song ...then another and another. I could have played all day long, I could have played until the clear twilit sky loomed overhead.

But alas I'm happy enough, it brought a smile to my face to remember all those memories.

So what was the song you ask?
It was 'Why Can't This Be Love' by 'Van Halen'

So with all that in mind; which songs takes you guys back to your happiest times?


Sunday, 23 May 2010

The Necklace

The warmth around my neck takes me back;
Swings with my routine.
The shining gold ticks like your beating heart;
It ticks with mine.
The constant brushes against my chest remind me of that day.
The day I met you.

The days pass and I begin to wonder if I ever did,
The necklace brushes by my heart again.
So I take its warmth in my hand,
I make sure it’s still really there;
I think of you.
You are always here.

My mind casts back the journey home,
I remember being lost in thoughts of you;
Your necklace in my hand.
The glimmering front passes to my lips again,
I wonder where you are now.
I wonder when I’ll see you again.

The delicate welling in my eyes;
I remember perfect thoughts of you.
Nostalgic of that day over and over,
Your necklace in my hand.

I whisper I love you,
With you in my hands.


Tainted Sun

Come the day with such emptiness.
Rise a morning sun struck down
and muted.
Stamped in place his grey soul;
you wallow in their callous smiles.

The Isolated sun is surrounded by a storm.
There lies a shipwreck rotting,
relentlessly rocking and forced;
Battered and broken.
his feeble warmth is lost.

Lashings of stinging ice jab into sides,
breaking through,
and flow crimson wine into the seas claws.
Bled dry of all value and meaning,
left to the mercy of the deepest ocean.
You fell through to nothing.

Your warmth forgotten,
replaced by black,
a husk so rotten,
so twisted,
that your beauty can never come back.

Through the dark,
watch as cackling waves pass over-head.
Stare on up and will the sun back.
Come through the drabbest clouds,
pierce through the waves
and strike the sky clear of
every laugh.

Break through a stunned storm,
silence its mayhem
and leave your mark.
So the storm may never return,
ruin every shrieking cloud,
evaporate every gaunt look to nothing.

all but the morning sun,
left to shine.
the storm broken like his fear.
He had lost something that day,
but he was left to shine,
stained in crimson forever.


Saturday, 22 May 2010

Thank You :)

Hi Everyone, I'm Hind from My.Paintings First of all, I'd like to thank Joey for the wonderful post he wrote to me as a guest and for giving me the chance to write him a thanking note in his amazing blog. So I'm very happy to be doing this blog guest thing with Joey.

Well, I suppose I have to introduce myself before anything else! I'm a painting artist who runs an inspiration blog called My. Paintings. I post everything that inspires me, photography, art works, fashion, music, design, home interiors...

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

My grandfathers clock

So my brother visited Northern Ireland a couple of weeks ago to see the Irish side of our family, he didn't come back empty handed. He brought back with him some old photo's of my old man and the same brother as a wee nipper.

But more more interesting was the pair of old pocket watches he had. They belonged to my grandfather and perhaps even my great grandfather, one of the watches dates back to 1893! It was very interesting holding this thing, it has such a nice weight to it, it's condition is impeccable, all it needed was some brasso and a wind up. It works like the day it was made.

So In slight awe of this piece of brilliant engineering I decided to do my own edit of the watch, a kind of ode to the past in a way. Please do comment on all aspects of the picture, thanks all!


So apparently

Apparently I have a talent,
Though I don't see it as talent.
Apparently ways to express
don't come natural to most.
But expression is all we know.

"It seems rather than enticing
that we would rather be the ones enticed."

By the arts,
by all forms of awe.
But we all express,
we always want to express more.

So when you say I have a talent,
I say I'm not nearly as talented
as I could be.
I say I can't be talented:

For I am simply a man,
expressing himself.


Sunday, 16 May 2010

A typical day

I woke up to the glory of a grey sky,
I read the table-side clock as my eye
stumbled on by.

Their focus swept in and out,
my weighty arms carried sticky palms
and my fingers grasped and flailed about.

I pulled the clock to see the time clearer,
surely my mind plays tricks.
I pulled my eyes nearer.

"Oh shit"
There was somewhere that I was supposed to be.
Or was there?
My mind is still so numb.

I rushed about,
my frantic brain raced,
I reached for the door,
doubts burst and flew on through.

shoes and
there's something missing?

The keys weren't in my jacket,
they couldn't be found in baggy jeans
nor the table side draws.

I looked about the chairs and floors,
The table by the front door.

I stole the keys from their slumber,
they chimed as they flung.
I placed them to the lock and stopped.

I froze mid motion.
My doubting mind had realised;

"I didn't have anywhere to be this day."


Saturday, 15 May 2010

So where was I?

So here it is;

I've been busy.

Yup! Rather strangely I have been able to keep myself ticking over for the last couple of days and that is without much computer to inbetween. So things as they say could be a lot worse my end. Now I'm sure you are expecting a huge wall of text about what I've been up to, maybe I'd throw a few dry witted observations and musings in there too? Well perhaps. But that would take far too much time out of my hugely 'busy' schedule, so I give it to you in short hand instead:

So things have been going rather well, I've been off since Monday ...And yes it is taken holiday, there aren't any illnesses to be had my end. As you'd expect I spent the first few days with some really great ideas. I initially set out to get some recording done because well as you'd expect; I play instruments. I am rather partial to the drums and guitar but the recording was going to be guitar based.

I failed miserably.

Instead I managed to go through quite a considerable amount of alcohol and and port based wine. I basically sung karaoke and watched films, which to be honest was a rather enjoyable experience. I do not spend enough time dealing in simple pleasures such as those.

So come and roll on the weekend, it always begins with Friday they say. My brothers and my sister to be were coming over for the weekend. So lest to say, I had to clear up the shrine of my trials; countless bottles went into the recycling bin, pizza boxes and empty packets were disposed of without a passing thought. The house was spotless by the end, hands smelt of bleach.

Roll on Friday afternoon.

My brother (I have four by the way) brought over the guitar and amp, after greetings and a sit down there was an awkward obligatory silence. Broken by the word:


We proceeded to the garage (where my drumkit is) and had a jam. I forget the songs we played, it kind of just turned into one big improv session of me hitting anything in my reach and him just playing some riff he wrote as he went along. We traded places and we did the same in opposite positions although (I reluctantly state) my guitar work left a lot to be desired, I just played punk riffs to cover up my lacking guitar skills.

The night was ended in the haze a numb mind, I drunk yet more beer and port. I probably sung karaoke for endless hours with my future sister. Although strangely I awoke with a clear mind in the glorious rays of a middays sun, I was well rested. I got me a chip butty and a coffee.

And all was right with the World.

Now I'm left with the rather blunt notion and a silent hope that tonight will end in an as favourable manner as last night. So all there is left to say is:

Bring it on!


P.S I apologise for lying to you the reader. I had no intention of writing my activities in short hand/bullet point form I confess. But all the same you kept on reading, now that is dedication. I applaud you.

Thursday, 13 May 2010

Day One...

So it seems strange that this day has come; I didn't think it would. I'm still not sure why I'm here writing what to me seems a complete load of farcical nonsense for perhaps a complete strangers amusement:

But I'm here all the same.

So what's on my mind at this hour? Clearly enough to spew my musing onto the ground you reckon? Well Sir, I bite my thumb at such a notion! For now, for this night I'll simple leave you with the rather witless and overused phrase that goes as so:

"Good night, don't let the bed-bugs bite".